Life in Botswana

My Grammy requested that I blog about life in Botswana. That question is a difficult one to answer by itself so it was helpful that more questions followed. I figured it was a good opportunity to answer her questions and see if anyone has more questions. So, post in the comments or shoot me an email if you have any other questions or suggestions for blog topics.

When are you going to do a blog about what your life is like there? We are all so curious.
Now!

Do you have a church?
Although we have yet to officially join a church, we have been regularly attending one in Gaborone called His People. It is affiliated with the Every Nation family of churches and is led by a South African pastor and his team. Many people from Kagi's former church also attend His People following its closure last year.

Do you have friends to hang out with?
We are so blessed to have several friends we regularly hang out with and more friends we are getting to know. Having friends around makes a world of difference and it is as we've gotten to know people that Botswana has begun to feel more and more like home.

How is KG’s work going?
I believe KG is going to blog about his work on his new blog soon, so I won't say too much (and when his blog is live I will post a link here). He is doing well and learning a lot. It is a different kind of training than he would have received in the UK had he done his pre-registration year there. Here, he is learning from practice. He is also doing quite a bit of learning about HIV-AIDS medicines as that is still a huge focus of the medical profession in Botswana. He continually has stories of both tragedy and triumph of people with the disease. We both marvel and thank God that these days HIV does not have to shorten someone's life, they can have children without passing the disease to them, and so on. Botswana provides free medication to those who have the disease and it is really a wonderful thing for those who take advantage of it.

What is your home like?
I guess pictures are in order here! We live in a two bedroom house which is in a compound of three houses and we share part of one wall with our neighbors. It is a simple layout but very nice, and we really like it. So far, we don't have much furniture, but are thankful to be borrowing some camping equipment from friends and family to fill the gaps. I really look forward to getting couches, and hope that we might find some within the next month or so.

Yes, what do you eat?
Let's see... we eat many of the same meals I would make at home. I find food to be very expensive, probably because I like buying things that are normal or cheap in the States but are more expensive here. Most of my thinking about food has to do with thinking through what I can make that we like and can also afford. I also have decided to make lots of things and use replacements for others. For example, I regularly bake bread (even though you can find nice bread cheap), make homemade salsa as much as possible, made my own applesauce, and use yoghurt to replace many things in recipes (it is my sour cream, cream, mayonnaise, and etc).

What do you do with your days?
This has changed throughout my time in Botswana. Now that we have internet access, I have been spending time on a web design job I am doing for a local company. I hope this might grow into something I can do as a business and am VERY thankful for a fantastic first customer and fun first project. I also spend substantial time cooking and cleaning, as it seems everything takes a little more effort than it would at home. The other thing I have been doing over the last several weeks has been spending a total of six days at immigration trying to get my residency application through. I am now waiting for the result, and we pray it will go through on the first try. The computer system the immigration officers are using is horrendous and broke down for a month or so, so everyone who needed to apply was pushed back. My days at immigration began by arriving between 5:30 and 6 at the office to put my name on a list, and then trying to make sure that I was helped in the proper order. Needless to say, not my favorite way to spend my time. Otherwise, I spend time with our puppy Bella who I hope will be well behaved before she is enormous, which will happen soon.

Are there malls, where do you shop?
Yes, there are several nice malls in Gaborone. One of them is close to our house, but as Gabs isn't huge, we have pretty easy access to 3 we particularly like. I have been learning which stores are best to buy which things. Generally, you can find most things here, it is more a matter of being able to pay the price for them. I really miss the easy access we have in America to nice things for low prices. Here the quality isn't quite as good and prices are relatively high, especially in proportion to the income people have. I am learning a lot about how to shop wisely. The nice thing is that South Africa, which has a much bigger economy, is very close. I haven't been yet, but would like to take a trip there soon to buy some necessities. Many people do this and for things like maternity clothes, which I still haven't found here, it is necessary. It is also nice that the Botswanan pula is 25% stronger than the South African rand, so hopefully I'll have a little advantage with that as well.

What was your Christmas like?
Our Christmas was nice, but certainly different than at home! For starters, we are at the height of summer here, so the morning was pretty warm. KG and I spent time at home and exchanged gifts. We then took our remaining cinnamon rolls and went to see his family in Thamaga, the village where they live about 30 minutes from our house. Then we came home and I grabbed the apple pie and corn custard, taking them with us to our friends' house. Once there the rain came and we had a feast which reminded me of home. We had a very nice afternoon and evening with the Jones family and their relatives. The evening ended with a board game which KG played while I called and watched my family open presents in Spokane.

Do they celebrate New Year’s?
Yes, kind of, as far as I know! I think people set of fire works and have parties, much like home. We didn't really have anything going on so we ended up going to bed early. I think the combination of the early morning lifestyle of Botswana and pregnancy had me ready for bed around 10, so I didn't mind. Next year, though, I think we will have a party. Hopefully by then we'll have furniture! :-)

How is your pregnancy going?
I am so thankful that it is going well. The first trimester was not much fun for me, but since I hit the 13 week mark things have been fine. I am 20 weeks today, which is very exciting! Half-way there. I have been feeling good and have for the last week or so been feeling the baby move quite a bit. It is very exciting, and I think both KG and I are getting more and more excited about meeting this little one soon.

What a Day!

Today has been very busy, and very good. This is my first moment which hasn't been very relational and/or active since waking this morning. It's 10pm and I'm tired but happy and thankful for good food, great friends, and a good-crazy kind of day.

This morning Kagi and I woke up, had our breakfast, and prepared for a day in the city. We walked the 2.5 miles to the Discovery Centre (where Global Cafe is headquartered and Kagi used to live) through freezing wind and stinging snowfall. There, I helped Kagi with his weekly cleaning job. Because both of us were working quickly, we finished in about an hour and booked it down to the City Centre.

In the heart of Bradford, we met with our friend Ben who has been a very good friend to me since I first came here. He was even there the day Kagi and I met. Now Ben lives in Finland, and I am so glad we took the rare opportunity to hang out during his visit to Bradford this week. It was especially fun to hear how God has been answering prayers that we have been praying since meeting almost three years ago, and to share stories with someone whose journey of faith makes Kagi and my last few years look relatively simple. We are so encouraged by Ben and I am reminded what a blessing he has been to me. Although we have never seen him all that often it does seem that Bradford is missing something without him here.

After that meeting, we went back to the Discovery Centre for an amazing Spanish lunch prepared by our friend Juanma's parents. It was so fun to meet his family and to spend time with international students and other team members. In our multi/inter-cultural lives, Global Cafe provides a community which feels more like home to both of us... sometimes even more than we feel at home in our countries of origin. For me, it is a reminder of my beloved International Friendship Club in Maryland.

Following lunch, Shell, the leader of Global Cafe, took me with her on her trip to Costco! I blogged about strangely missing Costco way back in this post. Finding out there is one near Bradford was very exciting news for me, and I was not disappointed on my trip there today. It was really nice to hang out with Shell, first of all. She shares my love for Jesus and for cultures, and is someone I have really enjoyed getting to know over the past few years. Today I found out that her husband who is also from Southern Africa is a "meatetarian," like mine. She has offered to help me find ways to feed Kagi without going broke, which (especially after recently instituting a new budget) I am very excited about!

Costco was also much more similar to the Costco in the States than I was expecting. They have most of the same items and kept the prices about the same as they would be in USD but just made them in GBP, which makes everything about 1.6 times more expensive. Compared to importing these items myself or paying the supermarket price for these American staples which are considered luxury items here, the prices were great. I bought things like Kirkland almonds, a big tub of crunchy peanut butter, a big tub of salsa, and Costco bagels. They also have the big bags of Crasins and affordable vanilla which was a thrilling discovery even though I decided to hold off until I have a little more in the budget another time. It was laid-out and looked just like it does in the States.

As we were leaving the store at about 4, I glanced at my iPhone to see a message my dad sent me about the staff meeting I was prepared to join at 5pm via Skype. I had told Shell about it and planned to be home in plenty of time for it. However, while reading my dad's email I realized that I forgot that the daylight savings time changes earlier in the States than in England. We are only 7 hours ahead instead of the usual 8. While kicking myself for being late, I realized that, not only had I not realized the time change, I also had mis-calculated. 8am is 8 hours before 4pm, not 5pm. I was both sorry and embarrassed about this clumsy mistake. I sent an email as we headed home.

To keep this story from going on forever, I'll just say that Kagi and I ultimately got home at about 5:30 after traffic and a few other delays. We unexpectedly had a few of the guys from church come home with us, which was a lovely surprise. I figured out that I had totally missed my call and set to hanging out with them, preparing dinner, and having some great conversations.

There is more, but I guess for today I'll leave it at that!

Hurdles

I always thought running hurdles would be more fun, interesting, and exciting than just running straight through a race. Similarly, I think I'd enjoy a warrior dash much more than a straight-forward long run. One of the things I struggle with the most while running is the mental battle to stay interested and engaged when my objective is just to keep going, one step after another.

I guess that is true for much of how I live my life. I like having shorter-term objectives to keep me focused and interested while working toward the prize. I like hurdles.

That's probably one of the reasons I like living internationally. There are lots of interesting things that happen, lots of surprises and diversions. Life is very rarely boring. It can be both challenging and rewarding.

Some days, it feels like you are flying through life, leaping over barriers as they come. Other days, you're reminded that there are far more opportunities to fall on your face or break your leg.

Either way, it's an adventure.

Unpacking

Today I have not followed my usual "get over jet lag fast" routine -- I slept until 1:30pm! So I haven't unpacked and gotten the house back into order yet. I feel very differently about that job than I do packing. I LOVE unpacking. It is literally one of my favorite tasks.

However, I think it'll be best done in the morning. Kagi finished his exam and we are planning to get pizza and watch a movie tonight. I'm looking forward to it, and to finishing unpacking tomorrow.

So I'm off to have a nice relaxing night with my husband:-).

Irrational Exhaustion

I am now in Bradford!!! I'm working to stay awake at least until 8pm and also trying not to distract Kagi because he has a very big exam tomorrow. I did take a nap today but think I'll be fine tomorrow -- I'm plenty exhausted to sleep through the night no matter what the time difference!

The trip really went well and Kagi and I are very happy to be back together.

I was given some extra time today during which I wrote what you see below:-). I actually found my extreme emotional reaction to a series of things a little comical at the time, I hope that comes across.

Exhausted Fit

You know when kids get to that point where they start weeping and scream, “I just want to go home!”? 

Well, I almost just did that right in the middle of Manchester Airport. If I had caught Kagi on the phone I would have burst into tears and done just that. But it wasn't that easy – the phone company doesn't like my American credit card and therefore I have no way to get online or to call anyone.

Kagi will call me when he gets out of his class at 11.

But wait. Wasn’t I supposed to be home by then? Didn’t I have dreams of being showered and maybe even having lunch made by the time Kagi gets home from class? Yes, yes I did.

But alas, after about 20 hours of travel and my body running on about 4 hours of sleep since Saturday night, it didn’t go that way. In my exhaustion I have been quickly unraveling over the last several hours.

First, I’ll acknowledge that my travels went really well. So I know this is irrational. As I’m experiencing the crazy irrationality I kind of think it’s funny, so I’m writing about it. So for the record I do know that things are fine. They just don’t feel that way at the moment.

First, I got held up for questioning at the border again. Yes, even with my visa, I got stuck in the “further questioning” section, wondering if they were going to reject me again. Not a huge deal… I’ve been there before, but I have grown an irrational apprehension for those borders and so the level of impact it had on my emotional state was more than necessary. Apparently I will continue to need further questioning every time I try to enter this country for quite a while, even with all my paperwork squared away. Once blacklisted you’re blacklisted. Awesome. At least the guy was nice.

The last from my flight to clear customs, I went to claim my bags and immediately noticed that something was wrong. They were both there, but one of my bags was slightly opened. The smell of one of my brand-new, expensive, skin-care items permeated from my bag. At first glance I could tell that my closure of the bottle was still in-tact, but the smell and sight of my brand new, wonderfully clean-laundry smelling sheets covered in this toner. Apparently it was not sealed at the bottom of the neck. Great.

Then I began trying to walk with all three of my bags. They total well over 100 pounds and don’t fit together very nicely. I don’t know where I have pounds, so instead of getting a luggage card I began dragging them as best I could. It didn’t work well, and in normal conditions the walk is about 15 minutes. At one point, the bag I had stacked on top of another slipped off, narrowly missing a man’s foot and causing him to dodge it like a meteior aimed at him. “I’m sorry!” I exclaimed. No response other than ticked-off walking away.

I did have a hero appear soon after that, though. An African lady passed me and then said, “Do you need this?” with a cart. “You don’t need it?” I asked. “You need it more than I do,” she said as she took her bags off and gave it to me. I felt bad, but I couldn’t reject her offer. As the situation was I was likely to kill someone.



Finally, I made it to the bus station. I knew I had missed my hoped-for 9:05 bus, but was hoping for a bus in the next 15-30 minutes for about 10GBP. The guy told me that it cost 13.40GBP. “And when is it?” I asked. “11:50,” he said.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost screamed it in the airport. What I actually said was, “OK, I’m going to go check on my train options and I’ll come back if I want to take it.”

As I stood in line, I knew it was hopeless. I can’t move all of these huge bags around a train transfer. I checked anyway. The result was that for about 30GBP (a CRAZY amount of money) I could get a train with one transfer. For a more reasonable fee, I could take a train to Manchester Piccadilly, take a trolley to Manchester Victoria, and take another train to Bradford (which might also require a change in Leeds). On a normal day that would be fine. With these bags, no way. So 11:55 it is.

This is when I frantically tried to put money on my phone so I could call Kagi crying. No go. And worse, the guy selling bus tickets found me right before I started weeping so instead of throwing my temper tantrum I calmly bought the ticket.

The agent must have read me right and told me to come upstairs to a nice café and get a cup of coffee. That was a really good idea—I can kind of pretend I’m not still in an airport. I am here in the coffee shop now, writing. I’ll post once I’m home with internet access

I am really excited to get home!

Yipeeeee!

Today I was totally and marvelously surprised!

I told friends this past weekend that I was fairly confident that it would be three weeks minimum before I go back to England. I finally have been resigning myself to the circumstances I'm in, beginning to make some plans in the States.

While I was waking up I glanced through my email on my iPhone. I saw an email from the visa agency and opened it before even thinking about its potential significance. Maybe my visa was finally assigned to an officer, which would be great.

When I read the words, "Your visa has been issued," I was completely flabbergasted. I wish I could replay my facial expressions. Actually, I probably looked something like this girl... except in my case the confusion turned into delight instead of horror:

Much of today was spent looking at airline tickets and buying some for next week. I'll make sure that they are still the best deal tomorrow -- plane ticket prices change on a day by day (or sometimes hour by hour) basis.

I am thrilled that I get to go back to be with my husband. I'm also thrilled that I'll have a visa which will give official status in the UK -- I will be able to leave and return without concern about borders, can get a supplemental job, and etc.

I am thankful that God has sustained us these crazy six months. And I am really happy that from here on out, Kagi and I should be able to be physically together even as we make decisions on where to live and apply for visas together. God willing...

Thank you all for your prayers and for the myriad of ways you have helped and encouraged us through a difficult time. I honestly didn't know when it would end, and today seems to be that day. Praise God.

So excited to get back to this man!

Unnatural Grace

Today I was thinking about grace. Grace sounds so nice. It brings images to mind like a graceful flower or a swan. Beautiful, peaceful, gentle, natural.

In the dictionary, I found some interesting definitions here. Grace is a deep word. I've heard it defined as unmerited favor. The word can be what a king does when he visits a peasant. It can mean approval, favor, mercy, or pardon. It can mean "sense of propriety or right," which seems to contradict some of the other definitions. Our Sunday school teacher in Spokane keeps saying that grace is scandelous. It doesn't seem right. It's unnatural.

In my observation, grace is hard. It's costly and active. It demands tremendous self-sacrifice to bestow unmerited favor. It's unfair.

This got me thinking about my experience with grace, especially as it relates to conflict. When my siblings and I were kids, we were great at getting underneath one another's skin. Allison and I are the closest in age, and had the most run-ins. She was always a lot cooler than me and although 13 months younger she was always socially a step ahead. I remember several instances when it went like this:

She did something that hurt my feelings.

I could have chosen, at this point, to respond with grace.

However, I responded naturally, and got angry. Acting on that anger, my fists started flying. I was always a lot bigger and was also a good fighter, so the physical odds were decidedly in my favor.

The circumstances, however, were not. The one who gets in trouble when a fight starts is almost always the big one who is punching, no matter what the little one did to deserve it.

I have a vague memory of my mom making me apologize while I was still seeing red. Imagine her holding me back so I couldn't continue the physical onslaught.

Mom: "Laura, apologize to your sister."

Laura (spitting the words): "I'm sorry."

Allison: "Mom, she didn't mean it!"

Mom: "Laura, you know how we do this in our family. Look her in the EYES, say you're sorry, and ask her to forgive you."

OH the pain of that moment! Trying to make myself apologize was swimming against the current of every emotion in me. Sure, I knew I shouldn't have been beating my sister up. But from my perspective, she totally deserved it! I had reacted in the only way I knew I could win. In my eyes, I was justified.

If I apologize, doesn't she get off scot-free for what she did to me? Worse, to ask for forgiveness was to ask her to be gracious to me. Maybe she would see that as weakness and use it against me. Still, I knew I wasn't going to get out of the situation until I did an unnatural thing: apologize.

Breathe. Stop looking at your feet. Just get it over with.

Laura (pushing out the words while trying to make eye contact with her smug opponent): "I'm sorry. (Long pause, breathe, breathe, breathe.) Will you forgive me?"

Mom: "Allison, tell her you forgive her."

Allison (reluctantly, and looking a little less smug): "I forgive you."

Although somewhat forced, she did grant me favor with those words.

In that feeling of swimming upstream against my emotions, I was learning some big lessons. I felt I had the right to make her pay. She hurt me, and how else could I convey how hurt I was other than to show her what hurt feels like? Still, I wasn't right to make her pay. In hindsight  here is no way I could have punished her fairly. You may think that my reaction was disproportionate to her crime. But it certainly wasn't to me!

The Bible has a lot of unnatural commands regarding dealing with conflict. This one comes to mind today:

Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary:

          “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
          if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
          In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Allison is far from evil and neither is she my enemy. But what if I had in mind that I would fight with kindness, giving her grace when she offended me? It would have been a lot less painful for me, for starters. I should have done that unnatural thing then, and I should do it more often now.

Blind Man Walking

Today is another beautiful one in Spokane. The sun is shining, it's about 50 degrees F and many many people are outside.

I was driving with Jen, my sister from Ghana, and we saw a man walking very deliberately on the crosswalk ahead of us. I realized that he was blind when he reached the opposing sidewalk.

I am writing about him because I was so incredibly impressed during the minute or so we sat at that corner waiting for the light to turn. He walked to the light post to push the crosswalk button and used his stick to feel out his surroundings. There was a couple already standing on the corner, and he had a difficult time working out what they were before they spoke to him. It seemed like he was a little thrown off, and had to go back to the post to figure out which way was which, where the ramp to the street was, and so on. He went back to what he could recognize, thinking hard. Light post, curb on this side, curb on that side. He was obviously taking every sound seriously. Cars this way, cars that way. Movement here and there. Back from the curb farther -- a safe perch for analysis. He was working hard, but he was figuring it out.

For some reason I can't quite identify, I was deeply moved. Maybe it's because I know the feeling of being a little thrown off, lacking critical information but needing to figure it out. I too know the feeling of needing to go back to the basics -- what do I know -- to figure it out. I hope in those situations I handle myself with some fraction of the poise I observed in that man today.

Ashes

I just got back from my first Ash Wednesday service. For someone who was raised in the church, it seems a little strange that this is the first time (at least that I can remember) having ashes on my head. As the pastor put the ashes on my forehead, he said the traditional line, "Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return." To be honest, I was surprised. I didn't expect him to say that!

Leaving the service, I admitted to my parents that I really didn't understand it. Why Ash Wednesday? Why the message that I am dust? I know Genesis 3:19, "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." But still, the message sounded strange by itself.

I just did a quick word search of dust in the Bible, and after finding loads of examples in just the first few books I realized that dust is everywhere! From Abraham's decedents being like the "dust of the earth," (Genesis 28:14) to the plague where the dust in Egypt became gnats throughout the land (Exodus 8:17). Those are probably irrelevant.

What I do think is relevant, however, are passages like Joshua 7:6 which say, "Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground before the ark of the Lord, remaining there till evening. The elders of Israel did the same, and sprinkled dust on their heads."

So the ashes are meant to be an outward sign of our repentance and acknowledgement of God's amazing glory.

Which is cool. It reminds me of the lyrics in this song, Facedown, by Matt Redman.

Welcomed in to the courts of the king,

I've been ushered into your presence.

Lord, I stand on youor merciful gound,

Yet with every step tread with reverence.

There is none in heavens like you,,

And upon the earth, who's your equal?

You are far above, You're the highest of hights,

And I'm bowing down to exalt you.

And I'll fall facedown, 

As Your glory shines around.

Yes i'll fall facedown,

As your glory shines around.

Let your glory shine around,

Let you glory shine around.

King of glory here be found, 

King of glory. 

It reminds me of the times in my life when I have experienced greatest peace, joy, and excitement, when I have been struck by reality -- how small I am and how big God is. At those times, in light of his mercy, the only appropriate response is to be to fall face down. Or maybe to put ashes on my head. Recognizing that I am dust is somehow liberating and delightful.

Lenten Commitment

This year, I am committing to writing daily for Lent. And I've decided I’m doing it publicly, on my blog. Writing is one of the best disciplines I have ever committed to. Throughout most of college and for a while afterward I journaled daily. Since then, I have journaled and blogged sporadically.

Writing is helpful for me in a few ways. First of all, it is a way to document my life. This probably sounds ridiculous to many of you, but I tend to think in themes and not specifics (according to the Meyers-Briggs this is common for people who are high on the intuitive scale). Generally this works well for me, but lately I've realized that with the many things I don’t remember, I might be missing significant things God is doing and forgetting what I am learning. Secondly, gives perspective. You'll hear more about why this is especially important and timely for me now as I write in the coming days.

There are a several ideas I have of kinds of things I will write about. Because of the first point above, I may occasionally document my day or tell a remembered story from a previous day. But I also might just make note of something that I have seen, heard, or read which has made me think. There are several books I have in mind and I presently have time for reading and thinking, so why not?

I don’t know if this will add value to anyone but me. I have been deciding whether to blog or journal, and blogging seemed like the right way to go. Even so, I’m admitting from the beginning that this commitment is for me. I really don’t know where it’ll go. If someone else gets something out of it, that’s great.

Oh, and I hope you enjoy your Pancake Day/Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday!

Sorry about the low-quality pic, but here's how we celebrated the English Pancake Day in Washington State. Even though it was a very American-Style pancake meal I think we did well:-).

The Church

There are times in life when we are disappointed in the people around us for one reason or another. I have experienced that. However, I would like to take this opportunity to share how I have had the opposite experience in recent months.

Many of you know that I got married on the 18th of August. Leading up to the wedding was one of the most wonderful and most stressful seasons of my life. Something that didn't help was that Kagi was wrongfully kept from travelling to Canada when he was supposed to. It was one of those "how can something this unjust be allowed to happen" moments, and there was a time when we weren't sure our wedding would be able to happen. Thankfully the situation was resolved(ish) and he was able to come to the wedding.

There were some other pretty difficult surprising things that have happened in the last few months. I admit now that a good chunk of the problems probably could have been avoided if I was more aware of my limitations. I tend to have a "I can do anything if I really try" perspective on things. I learned this summer that actually, there are quite a few things that I can't do. Planning a destination wedding in less than 5 months while traveling in 3 continents and 5 countries (including a month in a village in Africa without much internet access), all on a very small budget, probably falls into that category. I also can't control border agencies (to name a few examples).

But, miracle of miracles, even as I realized my limitations I was blessed with an amazing engagement time and a wedding that was beter than I would have dreamed it to be... even if I had more time and more resources and a better proximity to the location. Kagi and I had friends from the USA, Canada, England, Botswana, Turkey (:-)), Zimbabwe, and I am probably missing something. We had an incredible photographer and a brilliant videographer. My dress was exactly what I wanted. The food was top-notch. The music and dancing were SO fun. Even the weather was absolutely ideal.

And it didn't come together because of me... as much as I wanted to bear the burdon for the whole thing. Left to me, it would have been like a half-baked cake, because my oven died before the baking time was up. I totally burned out.

It was the grace of God and it was His people. It was the Church.

My amazing friends and sisters pulled off two amazing showers and a bachelorette party for me. Countless people helped with the wedding and there were about 10 super-star heroes who stepped in to make the wedding better than it could have been if my budget was 10 times bigger. I'm not kidding.

The bachelorette party in Toronto.

Although I know that weddings are important in a person's life, my wedding seems a very small thing in the scheme of all of the problems in the world. I can't tell you how loved by God I have felt in these last months -- like a little girl who was given a totally undeserved gift by her daddy "just because I love you." (I am now crying at the computer in awe.) Thank you, Lord.

And thank you, Church.

• Thank you Emily and Deb for being there for me the whole way through -- and especially for the shower and bridesmaid things you did.
• Thank you Allison for making signs and planning the best bachellorette party ever and for being so happy for us. Thank you for helping with the music and for the dress. Thanks for recruiting your friends for the documentation jobs. Thanks for the amazingly sweet speech.
• Thank you Jenni for speaking, for your huge part in the music and for being Kagi's advocate for years now:-).
• Thank you Jesse for making the trip even though it was so fast and inconvenient with your schedule. Thanks for not trying to beat Kagi up or anything. Thanks for being the life of the party.
• Thank you Catherine for making it possible for me to have fun... for making all the decisions and dealing with last minute issues. Thanks for good talks about marriage.
• Thank you Kara for the surprise lingerie shower.
• Thank you Meagan for playing violin and singing.
• Thank you Lish for singing.
• Thank you Moody family for really being my Maryland family. I am so blessed by you guys, it's hard to put it to words. Thank you for hosting my bridal shower as well as for feeding and housing me when I'm in Maryland. Thank you for your many prayers for me/us.
• Thank you Katie for jumping in and organizing things on the day of the wedding without much information to go on ahead of time.
• Thank you Steven for being a great Emcee -- for taking the time to learn the difficult names and for doing a great job of going with the flow.
• Thank you Gladstones for hosting so many people in PA. Thanks for doing the drinks, for hosting a shower and for hosting me so often! You guys are amazing.
• Thank you Jonathan for being the BEST man. My parents keep talking about how impressed they were with you.
• Thank you Uncle Fred and Aunt Beth for coming up early and for helping with so many things. Thank you for helping us financially as well.
• Thank you Dan, Seth, and Matt for running to our B&B during much of the reception to check us in.
• Thank you Amy for doing the photography in exchange for the trip, and for being such a great support throughout the whole wedding and rehearsal days.
• Thank you JP for making the trip as well! Thank you for videoing the whole thing so Kagi's family can feel like they are included and know they are loved.
• Thank you Rudy and Sharon for being such an encouragement to us. Thanks for serving God in Botswana and for using your experience to bless us and make our wedding so much more meaningful.
• Thank you Tim, Bethan, Ffion and Mererid for spending your savings to come to America to be with us for our big day. Thanks for doing the incredible decorations and Tim for the amazing sermon.
• Thank you Ronit for the invitation and save the date designs. They were awesome.
• Thank you Peter for doing the music and DJing for us. You did an amazing job -- my favorite dance party!
• Thank you Artaj and Judy for making the whole thing possible. Thank you for your incredible hospitality, your generosity, the use of your house, and your friendship throughout.
• Thank you Mom for my veil and bunting and decorating and hosting and for loving me so well. Thank you for being so excited for us.
• Thank you Daddy for being there for me. Thank you for writing blog posts about me and for loving me so much that I know it was hard to give me away. Thanks for being happy for us anyway. Thanks for being a part of things like the flowers, and for building me a gazebo and putting the doors up. Thanks for running errands for the chairs and dealing with the problems I caused by forgetting to tell you to bring cash for the caterer. Thanks for being generous with funds for the wedding. Thanks for dancing with me.
• Thank you David and Julie for being here for Kagi during his terrible days trying to get to Canada. Thanks for your help with our expenses and for being so gracious to us.
• Thank you everyone who came. You all travelled far and it would not have been the same without you!

Here is a preview photograph from Amy Birdsong (amybirdsong.com). I am expecting the rest of the photos to be arriving within the next few days, so I'll be posting them around as I go through them. In the meantime, if you want to see more visit Amy's web site. There are lots of pics from our wedding there.

And thank you, Church, for your prayers and encouragement throughout our visa difficulties and separation. I can't imagine this without you, but with you it has really not been that bad. Thank you.

I'm Getting Married!!

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the delay in writing! It has been a CRAZY month of getting engaged, two trips to Wales, a trip back to the States, a week in Seattle, and now, finally, being back in Spokane with my parents.

Today I'm trying to get caught up with a variety of things, and realized that I haven't even written here in way too long. Instead of telling you about my engagement here I'd like to direct you to kagiandlaura.wordpress.com, which has lots of pictures and as much information as we have so far.

Our wedding is going to be August 18th in Niagara Falls, ON, Canada. There's more about that on the blog.

Packing Light

As I packed for London, I knew that I wanted to do a lot of walking and would need to keep my stuff with me almost all of the time. So I decided to pack carefully. I managed to get everything needed for two days (including formal clothing for a conference and reading materials for 10 hours on buses) into this bag:

Fully-packed bag for the conference trip.

Here's how I did it:

This is just about everything I took. on the left is my packing cube with all clothes and underwear, and my belt, shoes, clutch purse, and make-up bag. In the middle are the essential toiletries for a shower (which went into another packing cube), and a London tour book (actually wasn't necessary, oh well). Behind is my backpack which I think already had a few snacks in it. On the right are the clothes I actually wore the next morning.

Here is the main section of my bag. See how neat packing cubes make everything? The shoes and belt went on top.

I could have taken a lot more, but was thinking I'd probably need to carry whatever I took for up to ten miles of walking over the two days in London. I love walking in general and especially like seeing a city that way. One of my rules of thumb for exploring is that it is done best with as little baggage as possible.

Culture Shock

I think culture shock happens not necessarily when you're in a new culture but rather when you have expectations that things will be a certain way, and then you find what you expect to be familiar... different. I have experienced culture shock just a few times in my life and often forget what it's like. You see, if you decide to expect the unexpected, international life is usually fun and manageable.

A situation the other day caught me completely off guard and I'm still a little shocked at how it affected me. I was in a usually comfortable situation and suddenly nothing was familiar. I ended up breaking down and needing to disappear for a while -- suddenly feeling overwhelmed with grief for the familiar life I left behind.

Massive Clean Out

For the last several years, I've had many of my things stored in the house I formerly lived in (due to the graciousness of my former housemate!). One of the things I really wanted to do in Maryland was to go through it. I planned to give much of it away and catalog what I kept so I no longer wonder what I have and will be aware before buying duplicates. 

I think having stuff I use is fine, but especially stuff just being stored can be a burden. I wanted to cut my belongings down as much as I could. It ended up being a big project, but I'm really happy with the results. I got rid of about 2/3 of my stored clothes, toiletries, and etc and organized the rest, taking videos and pictures of the layers in the box for future reference:

I hope I'm not a gypsy for much longer. Regardless, living lean and simply is incredibly freeing. I still have much more than I need but this a step in the right direction!

Getting back to the gym

I decided this week that it was time to look into gyms in this area. I have been running some, but I don't seem able to make myself run more than two or three times per week, and I don't generally look forward to those times. For me, gyms are a different story -- I actually enjoy going.

So, Monday I decided to start a week-long trial membership at the local Gold's Gym. I'd checked their web site and their prices were great, and they even have my favorite exercise classes.

True to form, I wanted to get the most out of the week-long opportunity. Monday evening had a Body Pump class, so I went to it. If you've never done Body Pump, it's great -- 45-60 minutes of weight lifting, light weights and many reps. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to keep up since I haven't really lifted since living in England last fall.

As the class was finishing up, I heard that there was a cycling class happening next. I love cycling (although I haven't done that since England either), and since I was in the gym anyway thought I should get some cardio in.

Again, I was pretty proud of myself for being able to keep up and really enjoyed it. I bounced home all excited and proud of my fitness.

That is, I was proud until I could barely get out of bed the next morning.

EVERYTHING hurt. A lot! As I was wining, my dad told me I probably should stretch. Good idea. But when I tried to touch my toes (which I can usually do) my hands only made it to two feet above the ground. Oh no!

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. - Proverbs 16:18

I wish I could learn that lesson once and for all!!!

Berea Guest House

I just want to say I love my parents...

My last post says a lot about life around here. By the way, I really appreciate your comments and am very glad that many of you thought my life becoming like Tula's is as funny as I do!

The three of us are working together every day and (occasionally) have fun relaxing together as well. I believe that God has made a way for us to have this time together as a gift, and I'm thankful.

So a few of the big projects we've been doing have actually been getting done over the last few weeks (which makes me so happy).

One of our  main projects was turning this student housing...

Living room, dorm style.

Master bedroom, dorm style.

Into a guest house:

Guest house living room.

Guest house master.

and of course making a web site about it.

The story here is that this is one of six units my parents invested in several years ago to house undergraduate students in partnership with a local school. This year the school wasn't able to fill the houses -- they are actually only half-full, which we didn't know for sure was going to happen for sure until school started in the end of August. We've been working to find a way to cover the costs of the houses... and this is what we chose to do with one of them. It's the only thing like it in this city, so we're hopeful that it'll be mutually beneficial for us and the community!

It was a lot more work than I anticipated, but we're pretty happy with the finished result and look forward to welcoming our first guest tonight.

See Below...

Does anyone remember the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding where Tula is sitting on the plastic-covered couch between her parents and watching TV?

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Since coming to my parents' house, I have been finding myself in positions like these regularly. Take tonight for example:

Watching America's Got Talent.

Spokane

Now, for some of you, the thought of me at my parents' house probably evokes an image of me sleeping in, watching movies, taking long walks, and having all manner of time on my hands.You visit your parents for vacation, right?

Well, in my case that is not exactly how things are going.

We are all working very hard around the Fritz house, seemingly around the clock. We're excited, a little stressed, and working to focus in one direction at a time.

Here's what we are up to...
1. Trying to get their rental units filled with college students. I just made this web site about the housing: bereahousing.wordpress.com. We have three units empty now, which has never happened. Apparently the housing supply went up drastically this year for students at the school they have been working with for several years.
2. Working to put together the necessary planning documents, communication tools, and raise funds for the ministry we have already started. More about that will come soon, but in brief terms my dad has already begun working with social entrepreneurs to cultivate good leadership practices and effective structure for their organizations.
3. We have a consulting appointing starting this evening in Seattle, so we're headed back there. We're going to go camping in the Cascades this weekend with Allison. Yay!

And actually that's not it, but since we are leaving in just 20 minutes for Seattle, I need to get moving. I have data on my phone, so hopefully can keep up with things even while gone, but we shall see. For those of you praying for us, thank you so much. We need it. I feel confirmed that I did actually need to come home, as I thought, for more reasons than I even knew. It is really good to be here.

The Beauty of Home

After just a week, I am still basking in the lovliness of being home after almost a full year overseas. This week I have had meals with many of my closest friends, seeming to slide back into normal life here in Maryland. Last night a good friend made a dinner and about ten of us shared our hearts as we caught up on what we have learned thus year -- how we have seen God at work, and our hopes in our next steps.

As I have been away I have come to understand the ugly side of how America is perceived. I realize that I needed to learn to see my culture through the eyes of outsiders, and am interested in how I might be led to share my findings.

But as I talked with my friends during our evening together, sharing for hours about the situation in Israel an Palestine and our implication in the conflict, I was extremely encouraged as I experienced some of the most beautiful qualiies of my people. I was met by openness, love, a desire to learn, question after question, and unsolicited commitments that these friends would share the things they had learned.

My friends are action people who know their influence and desire to do right. We are all ignorant about many things, but when we seek to understand and when we look to act on what we learn, the ambitious American spirit is a beautiful thing.