Flowers and Sunshine

Today has been a really nice day. To start with, I have THREE bouquets of beautiful flowers in my kitchen. Daffodils from church on Mother's Day, amazing brightly-colored roses from Bethan as a "welcome home" gift, and red roses from Kagi when I arrived last Tuesday. The sun is shining brightly, and after yesterday's frigid temperature today has been warm.

Kagi and I are having a friend from church over for dinner. I've been working on the meal, laundry, and cleaning the house (finally) for most of the day. I also got to exercise (a little) and went to the nearby tennis club to inquire about a part-time job. I've actually been really busy, and I'm not done with everything yet.

I have two thoughts for today. First, it is good to work. This has been on my mind a lot lately, but today was a great reminder. Sometimes working feels fun and sometimes it doesn't, but the rewards are always worth it. Mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually, it is good.

Second, I have continued to think about what I realized during last night's church prayer meeting. I was struck while we sang the song Bless the Lord how often I rejoice or despair in my circumstances -- hoping in God for good things to happen in my life rather than in rejoicing in Him. In fact, I even rejoice in His creation more frequently than I do in Him. I love people -- both specific people and people in general. I also deeply enjoy other elements of creation. I rejoice in animals and scenery and flowers and sunshine. I thank God for them, which is good, but there is so much more to it.

I think it's right to enjoy creation. Really, I think it's good and suitable. People are amazing. The rest of creation is amazing. I could never make any of it, it's so far beyond my creativity and ability to even understand. But it pales in comparison to the Creator. It's nothing in comparison to Him. He's more beautiful, intimate, majestic, complex, and the list goes on. The creation should make me more interested in the Creator. It can be delightful and wonderful, but it cannot replace my hunger for the One who made it all. It should never be the primary source of my joy. He should.

The beautiful thing is that the more I can keep that straight, the more joy I know, the more courage I can demonstrate, and with all the more accuracy I can live my life. I can glorify Him all the more, which is the best use of my life. It's exciting!

Unnatural Grace

Today I was thinking about grace. Grace sounds so nice. It brings images to mind like a graceful flower or a swan. Beautiful, peaceful, gentle, natural.

In the dictionary, I found some interesting definitions here. Grace is a deep word. I've heard it defined as unmerited favor. The word can be what a king does when he visits a peasant. It can mean approval, favor, mercy, or pardon. It can mean "sense of propriety or right," which seems to contradict some of the other definitions. Our Sunday school teacher in Spokane keeps saying that grace is scandelous. It doesn't seem right. It's unnatural.

In my observation, grace is hard. It's costly and active. It demands tremendous self-sacrifice to bestow unmerited favor. It's unfair.

This got me thinking about my experience with grace, especially as it relates to conflict. When my siblings and I were kids, we were great at getting underneath one another's skin. Allison and I are the closest in age, and had the most run-ins. She was always a lot cooler than me and although 13 months younger she was always socially a step ahead. I remember several instances when it went like this:

She did something that hurt my feelings.

I could have chosen, at this point, to respond with grace.

However, I responded naturally, and got angry. Acting on that anger, my fists started flying. I was always a lot bigger and was also a good fighter, so the physical odds were decidedly in my favor.

The circumstances, however, were not. The one who gets in trouble when a fight starts is almost always the big one who is punching, no matter what the little one did to deserve it.

I have a vague memory of my mom making me apologize while I was still seeing red. Imagine her holding me back so I couldn't continue the physical onslaught.

Mom: "Laura, apologize to your sister."

Laura (spitting the words): "I'm sorry."

Allison: "Mom, she didn't mean it!"

Mom: "Laura, you know how we do this in our family. Look her in the EYES, say you're sorry, and ask her to forgive you."

OH the pain of that moment! Trying to make myself apologize was swimming against the current of every emotion in me. Sure, I knew I shouldn't have been beating my sister up. But from my perspective, she totally deserved it! I had reacted in the only way I knew I could win. In my eyes, I was justified.

If I apologize, doesn't she get off scot-free for what she did to me? Worse, to ask for forgiveness was to ask her to be gracious to me. Maybe she would see that as weakness and use it against me. Still, I knew I wasn't going to get out of the situation until I did an unnatural thing: apologize.

Breathe. Stop looking at your feet. Just get it over with.

Laura (pushing out the words while trying to make eye contact with her smug opponent): "I'm sorry. (Long pause, breathe, breathe, breathe.) Will you forgive me?"

Mom: "Allison, tell her you forgive her."

Allison (reluctantly, and looking a little less smug): "I forgive you."

Although somewhat forced, she did grant me favor with those words.

In that feeling of swimming upstream against my emotions, I was learning some big lessons. I felt I had the right to make her pay. She hurt me, and how else could I convey how hurt I was other than to show her what hurt feels like? Still, I wasn't right to make her pay. In hindsight  here is no way I could have punished her fairly. You may think that my reaction was disproportionate to her crime. But it certainly wasn't to me!

The Bible has a lot of unnatural commands regarding dealing with conflict. This one comes to mind today:

Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary:

          “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
          if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
          In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Allison is far from evil and neither is she my enemy. But what if I had in mind that I would fight with kindness, giving her grace when she offended me? It would have been a lot less painful for me, for starters. I should have done that unnatural thing then, and I should do it more often now.

Six Months

Today marks six months since the most significant and best day of my life, when Kagi and I got married. It was a wonderful, wonderful, meaningful day of celebration with many of our best friends, full of excitement and anticipation. I married my best friend who I love and trust and enjoy. Not much gets better than that.

Photo credit: amybirdsong.com.

This half-year has been something... certainly not been what we expected. It has contained some of the best and some of the hardest days in my memory.

On that day of our marriage, I so looked forward to being together, but I expected that, knowing myself, it would tough for me to make the transition from being single to married. In actuality, though, it was great fun. Kagi is my best friend and it is so fun to do life together. I love that in the times of both bliss and conflict we were building our life together. Work in marriage is purposeful and should pay dividends for decades to come. I really like that.

On the other hand, our circumstances have been very hard. Due to (mostly) unexpected visa issues we've physically been together for only about two of the six months. After being on the road for several years and being long-distance for much of our dating and engagement time, I was thrilled to live together and have our own home -- something I've really missed over the last few years. I couldn't have been more ready to really live somewhere -- to get my stuff in one place, to decorate, and take a break from living on the road. Sadly, the unpredictable nature of life on the road has only increased for me since being married.

With all of the turmoil, I have occasionally struggled deeply with disappointment, disillusionment, and even self-doubt. On that day of our marriage, I so looked forward to being together. I looked forward to getting some balance and steadiness back in life. I love Kagi and so want to live our life together, and even now I am here, on the other side of the world, having too much to do but feeling unable to do anything productive (probably a topic for another blog). At times, I fear that this time apart will damage our relationship. I fear that I am going to completely lose it.

In thinking about it today, however, I am thankful that even though I couldn't have imagined this kind of a start to marriage, God has graciously sustained us. I am so, so glad I married Kagi, and even knowing what has happened so far I would do it again even more confidently than I did six months ago. And I remember some key things I have been learning:

•  I don't know how many days we will have together, so I will be thankful for every one we are given. If I can learn that lesson well and live it out for years to come, it also should pay dividends. That helps. 
• Although we don't have much right now, we seem to have enough for today. That is a blessing and something I want to be truly thankful for. 
• We are so blessed with friends and family on whom we really have needed to rely on to get through this. I don't take one of them (you) for granted and when I think about you I remember that no matter how difficult things become I am (we are) lavishly and extraordinarily blessed. 
• The Lord who supplies all my needs is present and is good. When I am frustrated with people and institutions as I have regularly been of late, I am challenged to remember this: Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. In my mind it sounds a little more like: Some trust in governments and some trust in money, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Oh Lord, let it be that I respond in trust and rest in you no matter the circumstances. And please make a way for us to be back together soon.

Blind Man Walking

Today is another beautiful one in Spokane. The sun is shining, it's about 50 degrees F and many many people are outside.

I was driving with Jen, my sister from Ghana, and we saw a man walking very deliberately on the crosswalk ahead of us. I realized that he was blind when he reached the opposing sidewalk.

I am writing about him because I was so incredibly impressed during the minute or so we sat at that corner waiting for the light to turn. He walked to the light post to push the crosswalk button and used his stick to feel out his surroundings. There was a couple already standing on the corner, and he had a difficult time working out what they were before they spoke to him. It seemed like he was a little thrown off, and had to go back to the post to figure out which way was which, where the ramp to the street was, and so on. He went back to what he could recognize, thinking hard. Light post, curb on this side, curb on that side. He was obviously taking every sound seriously. Cars this way, cars that way. Movement here and there. Back from the curb farther -- a safe perch for analysis. He was working hard, but he was figuring it out.

For some reason I can't quite identify, I was deeply moved. Maybe it's because I know the feeling of being a little thrown off, lacking critical information but needing to figure it out. I too know the feeling of needing to go back to the basics -- what do I know -- to figure it out. I hope in those situations I handle myself with some fraction of the poise I observed in that man today.

Valentine's Day

Although I am disappointed that I am still not back with Kagi this Valentine's Day it has been a very nice day.

First of all, I woke up earlier than usual. I like it when that happens these days when my schedule is pretty flexible. I like the morning a lot.

Second, the sun came up. I realize I get too excited when the sun comes out, but I am not the best at handling the grey Washington winters. Today it was special. It was bright and the sky was beautifully blue.  About a third of the way into my run this morning it occurred to me that I was running in a tank top! I started wondering if my skin could take all of the rays or my body the Vitamin D. It seemed like a valentine from God, who even in a dark season was letting me know that He remembers and loves me.

Third, I have praying that there would be a way for me to go back to Maryland if I am going to be in the States longer. I was planning to wait until today to see if I got my visa before really trying to book something.  The reality is that I'm not in a financial position to be spending money on unnecessary tickets. As I was getting cleaned up and ready for the rest of the day it occurred to me that I have some frequent flyer miles. I checked into it, and it looks like I have almost enough for a ticket next week. I think my mom is going to give me the remainder of miles I need. I have a ticket reserved and will make a final decision by Saturday.

Finally, I got a very sweet Valentine from my husband and had some really nice phone conversations with friends and family. Tonight I'm hanging out with my mom and brother which should be fun.

To close, I thought I'd show you the one who has been on my mind:-).

Ashes

I just got back from my first Ash Wednesday service. For someone who was raised in the church, it seems a little strange that this is the first time (at least that I can remember) having ashes on my head. As the pastor put the ashes on my forehead, he said the traditional line, "Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return." To be honest, I was surprised. I didn't expect him to say that!

Leaving the service, I admitted to my parents that I really didn't understand it. Why Ash Wednesday? Why the message that I am dust? I know Genesis 3:19, "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." But still, the message sounded strange by itself.

I just did a quick word search of dust in the Bible, and after finding loads of examples in just the first few books I realized that dust is everywhere! From Abraham's decedents being like the "dust of the earth," (Genesis 28:14) to the plague where the dust in Egypt became gnats throughout the land (Exodus 8:17). Those are probably irrelevant.

What I do think is relevant, however, are passages like Joshua 7:6 which say, "Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground before the ark of the Lord, remaining there till evening. The elders of Israel did the same, and sprinkled dust on their heads."

So the ashes are meant to be an outward sign of our repentance and acknowledgement of God's amazing glory.

Which is cool. It reminds me of the lyrics in this song, Facedown, by Matt Redman.

Welcomed in to the courts of the king,

I've been ushered into your presence.

Lord, I stand on youor merciful gound,

Yet with every step tread with reverence.

There is none in heavens like you,,

And upon the earth, who's your equal?

You are far above, You're the highest of hights,

And I'm bowing down to exalt you.

And I'll fall facedown, 

As Your glory shines around.

Yes i'll fall facedown,

As your glory shines around.

Let your glory shine around,

Let you glory shine around.

King of glory here be found, 

King of glory. 

It reminds me of the times in my life when I have experienced greatest peace, joy, and excitement, when I have been struck by reality -- how small I am and how big God is. At those times, in light of his mercy, the only appropriate response is to be to fall face down. Or maybe to put ashes on my head. Recognizing that I am dust is somehow liberating and delightful.

Lenten Commitment

This year, I am committing to writing daily for Lent. And I've decided I’m doing it publicly, on my blog. Writing is one of the best disciplines I have ever committed to. Throughout most of college and for a while afterward I journaled daily. Since then, I have journaled and blogged sporadically.

Writing is helpful for me in a few ways. First of all, it is a way to document my life. This probably sounds ridiculous to many of you, but I tend to think in themes and not specifics (according to the Meyers-Briggs this is common for people who are high on the intuitive scale). Generally this works well for me, but lately I've realized that with the many things I don’t remember, I might be missing significant things God is doing and forgetting what I am learning. Secondly, gives perspective. You'll hear more about why this is especially important and timely for me now as I write in the coming days.

There are a several ideas I have of kinds of things I will write about. Because of the first point above, I may occasionally document my day or tell a remembered story from a previous day. But I also might just make note of something that I have seen, heard, or read which has made me think. There are several books I have in mind and I presently have time for reading and thinking, so why not?

I don’t know if this will add value to anyone but me. I have been deciding whether to blog or journal, and blogging seemed like the right way to go. Even so, I’m admitting from the beginning that this commitment is for me. I really don’t know where it’ll go. If someone else gets something out of it, that’s great.

Oh, and I hope you enjoy your Pancake Day/Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday!

Sorry about the low-quality pic, but here's how we celebrated the English Pancake Day in Washington State. Even though it was a very American-Style pancake meal I think we did well:-).

The Church

There are times in life when we are disappointed in the people around us for one reason or another. I have experienced that. However, I would like to take this opportunity to share how I have had the opposite experience in recent months.

Many of you know that I got married on the 18th of August. Leading up to the wedding was one of the most wonderful and most stressful seasons of my life. Something that didn't help was that Kagi was wrongfully kept from travelling to Canada when he was supposed to. It was one of those "how can something this unjust be allowed to happen" moments, and there was a time when we weren't sure our wedding would be able to happen. Thankfully the situation was resolved(ish) and he was able to come to the wedding.

There were some other pretty difficult surprising things that have happened in the last few months. I admit now that a good chunk of the problems probably could have been avoided if I was more aware of my limitations. I tend to have a "I can do anything if I really try" perspective on things. I learned this summer that actually, there are quite a few things that I can't do. Planning a destination wedding in less than 5 months while traveling in 3 continents and 5 countries (including a month in a village in Africa without much internet access), all on a very small budget, probably falls into that category. I also can't control border agencies (to name a few examples).

But, miracle of miracles, even as I realized my limitations I was blessed with an amazing engagement time and a wedding that was beter than I would have dreamed it to be... even if I had more time and more resources and a better proximity to the location. Kagi and I had friends from the USA, Canada, England, Botswana, Turkey (:-)), Zimbabwe, and I am probably missing something. We had an incredible photographer and a brilliant videographer. My dress was exactly what I wanted. The food was top-notch. The music and dancing were SO fun. Even the weather was absolutely ideal.

And it didn't come together because of me... as much as I wanted to bear the burdon for the whole thing. Left to me, it would have been like a half-baked cake, because my oven died before the baking time was up. I totally burned out.

It was the grace of God and it was His people. It was the Church.

My amazing friends and sisters pulled off two amazing showers and a bachelorette party for me. Countless people helped with the wedding and there were about 10 super-star heroes who stepped in to make the wedding better than it could have been if my budget was 10 times bigger. I'm not kidding.

The bachelorette party in Toronto.

Although I know that weddings are important in a person's life, my wedding seems a very small thing in the scheme of all of the problems in the world. I can't tell you how loved by God I have felt in these last months -- like a little girl who was given a totally undeserved gift by her daddy "just because I love you." (I am now crying at the computer in awe.) Thank you, Lord.

And thank you, Church.

• Thank you Emily and Deb for being there for me the whole way through -- and especially for the shower and bridesmaid things you did.
• Thank you Allison for making signs and planning the best bachellorette party ever and for being so happy for us. Thank you for helping with the music and for the dress. Thanks for recruiting your friends for the documentation jobs. Thanks for the amazingly sweet speech.
• Thank you Jenni for speaking, for your huge part in the music and for being Kagi's advocate for years now:-).
• Thank you Jesse for making the trip even though it was so fast and inconvenient with your schedule. Thanks for not trying to beat Kagi up or anything. Thanks for being the life of the party.
• Thank you Catherine for making it possible for me to have fun... for making all the decisions and dealing with last minute issues. Thanks for good talks about marriage.
• Thank you Kara for the surprise lingerie shower.
• Thank you Meagan for playing violin and singing.
• Thank you Lish for singing.
• Thank you Moody family for really being my Maryland family. I am so blessed by you guys, it's hard to put it to words. Thank you for hosting my bridal shower as well as for feeding and housing me when I'm in Maryland. Thank you for your many prayers for me/us.
• Thank you Katie for jumping in and organizing things on the day of the wedding without much information to go on ahead of time.
• Thank you Steven for being a great Emcee -- for taking the time to learn the difficult names and for doing a great job of going with the flow.
• Thank you Gladstones for hosting so many people in PA. Thanks for doing the drinks, for hosting a shower and for hosting me so often! You guys are amazing.
• Thank you Jonathan for being the BEST man. My parents keep talking about how impressed they were with you.
• Thank you Uncle Fred and Aunt Beth for coming up early and for helping with so many things. Thank you for helping us financially as well.
• Thank you Dan, Seth, and Matt for running to our B&B during much of the reception to check us in.
• Thank you Amy for doing the photography in exchange for the trip, and for being such a great support throughout the whole wedding and rehearsal days.
• Thank you JP for making the trip as well! Thank you for videoing the whole thing so Kagi's family can feel like they are included and know they are loved.
• Thank you Rudy and Sharon for being such an encouragement to us. Thanks for serving God in Botswana and for using your experience to bless us and make our wedding so much more meaningful.
• Thank you Tim, Bethan, Ffion and Mererid for spending your savings to come to America to be with us for our big day. Thanks for doing the incredible decorations and Tim for the amazing sermon.
• Thank you Ronit for the invitation and save the date designs. They were awesome.
• Thank you Peter for doing the music and DJing for us. You did an amazing job -- my favorite dance party!
• Thank you Artaj and Judy for making the whole thing possible. Thank you for your incredible hospitality, your generosity, the use of your house, and your friendship throughout.
• Thank you Mom for my veil and bunting and decorating and hosting and for loving me so well. Thank you for being so excited for us.
• Thank you Daddy for being there for me. Thank you for writing blog posts about me and for loving me so much that I know it was hard to give me away. Thanks for being happy for us anyway. Thanks for being a part of things like the flowers, and for building me a gazebo and putting the doors up. Thanks for running errands for the chairs and dealing with the problems I caused by forgetting to tell you to bring cash for the caterer. Thanks for being generous with funds for the wedding. Thanks for dancing with me.
• Thank you David and Julie for being here for Kagi during his terrible days trying to get to Canada. Thanks for your help with our expenses and for being so gracious to us.
• Thank you everyone who came. You all travelled far and it would not have been the same without you!

Here is a preview photograph from Amy Birdsong (amybirdsong.com). I am expecting the rest of the photos to be arriving within the next few days, so I'll be posting them around as I go through them. In the meantime, if you want to see more visit Amy's web site. There are lots of pics from our wedding there.

And thank you, Church, for your prayers and encouragement throughout our visa difficulties and separation. I can't imagine this without you, but with you it has really not been that bad. Thank you.

For the Beauty...

I wrote most of a post earlier about Thanksgiving but after singing this beautiful hymn in church this evening I decided to share the lyrics instead (or for now). I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

For the beauty of the earth
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour,
Of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flower,
Sun and moon, and stars of light.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind’s delight,
For the mystic harmony
Linking sense to sound and sight.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For Thy Church, that evermore
Lifteth holy hands above,
Offering up on every shore
Her pure sacrifice of love.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the martyrs’ crown of light,
For Thy prophets’ eagle eye,
For Thy bold confessors’ might,
For the lips of infancy.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thy virgins’ robes of snow,
For Thy maiden mother mild,
For Thyself, with hearts aglow,
Jesu, Victim undefiled.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For each perfect gift of Thine,
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of Heaven.

Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

Words: Fol­li­ot S. Pier­point, in Lyra Eu­cha­rist­ica, by Or­by Ship­ley, se­cond edi­tion, 1864. http://cyberhymnal.org/htm/f/b/fbeautye.htm

Spokane

Now, for some of you, the thought of me at my parents' house probably evokes an image of me sleeping in, watching movies, taking long walks, and having all manner of time on my hands.You visit your parents for vacation, right?

Well, in my case that is not exactly how things are going.

We are all working very hard around the Fritz house, seemingly around the clock. We're excited, a little stressed, and working to focus in one direction at a time.

Here's what we are up to...
1. Trying to get their rental units filled with college students. I just made this web site about the housing: bereahousing.wordpress.com. We have three units empty now, which has never happened. Apparently the housing supply went up drastically this year for students at the school they have been working with for several years.
2. Working to put together the necessary planning documents, communication tools, and raise funds for the ministry we have already started. More about that will come soon, but in brief terms my dad has already begun working with social entrepreneurs to cultivate good leadership practices and effective structure for their organizations.
3. We have a consulting appointing starting this evening in Seattle, so we're headed back there. We're going to go camping in the Cascades this weekend with Allison. Yay!

And actually that's not it, but since we are leaving in just 20 minutes for Seattle, I need to get moving. I have data on my phone, so hopefully can keep up with things even while gone, but we shall see. For those of you praying for us, thank you so much. We need it. I feel confirmed that I did actually need to come home, as I thought, for more reasons than I even knew. It is really good to be here.

Another fun video from camp

At camp a few weeks ago the kids could choose what to learn during one of the time slots each day. While I was doing "circus skills" others were making this movie. I thought you might enjoy it.

Musalaha Palestinian/Israeli Summer Camp Report

"I love this camp," a pre-teen girl told me as we played in the pool, "I love everything it stands for and everything it's about, and it's so fun!"

This attitude was echoed throughout Musalaha's Israeli-Palestinian summer camp by the seventy Palestinian and Israeli believing children and both local and foreign leaders.

For me, after six months in the Land, this camp gave me real hope like nothing else I have experienced. There was hope in the Bible studies, in the competitions, in the craziness and laughter, and in the worship. There was hope as the children were creative with their crafts and reckless in their play. There was hope as they were just being girls and boys – having fun, making friends, getting a break from the pressures of their everyday environment.

The fifty leaders arrived on Saturday afternoon to begin a run-through of the camp activities. We were quite a mix – the Musalaha leadership team, Israeli and Palestinian young teens who were junior counselors, Palestinian and Israeli college-aged counselors, and an American team visiting the country to serve us and the children. Over the course of the two days of preparation we got to know each other, and when the children arrived on Monday, we were ready!

When they arrived, many of the children found friends they had met at last year's camp. A group of two Palestinian and three Israeli girls negotiated to be in the same room. Upon receiving permission, they pulled five bunks together to make one huge bed where they could sleep together.

During my time here, I've gotten pretty good at identifying who is on which side – quickly profiling everyone I meet. It's usually unconscious, automatic, and often seems necessary. When I get on a bus, I need to remember what kind of bus it is so I know if I should greet and thank the driver in Hebrew or Arabic. When I see a group, I notice which side they are from. When I talk to people, I want to know where their sympathies lie so I don’t say something terribly offensive.

At the camp I realized that I wasn't noticing who is Israeli and who is Palestinian. I saw my brothers and sisters from both sides of the conflict demonstrate a love of Christ and each other above their love of sticking with their side. Leaders cared for kids, loving and instructing them regardless of where they are from. We were all there as believers in Jesus, and as should more often be the case, during camp no other identity really mattered.

One day after craft time, a Palestinian boy from the West Bank proudly pulled me aside to show me his pencil case. On it, he had painted an Israeli flag. I am not sure how his parents will feel about it, but it showed me how much more simple this situation is for the children. He loved his new friends and leaders and therefore had fond feelings about the place they are from.

As my coworker Tamara and I reflected on the camp, she said, "Innocence breaks down all this hatred that we have around us. You love the good things that you see in the other side. Like Jesus said, we should be little children."

The reality is that the conflict will probably get harder for these dear young ones as they get older. They will be pulled and they will likely have experiences that will confirm what their communities teach about the other. The conflict is real and they will likely come face to face with it before long.

But that thought is followed by remembering what I saw in the young adults who helped to lead the camp, many of whom have been raised as a part of Musalaha. They are pulled, but they do not forget their friends. For them, the "enemy" will never be faceless, inhuman, or distant. For them, the situation will never be easy or black and white. That is good. With open eyes they can help bring change. They are the hope.

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." -Matthew 18:1-3

See previous post and my Picasa album for pictures from the camp. See videos from camp on Musalaha's YouTube channel I'll also put a few here over the next few posts.

Anticipating America...

Summer camp this week was amazing, and for the first time I have a moment to post the promised blog about what I'm looking forward to about home. During this coming week I also plan to share some great summer camp pictures and hopefully a post about the things I'm sad to leave... things which are starting to invade my brain. Thankfully, over the last few weeks of being really really excited to go home I have noted some of the random things I am really looking forward to about my time in the States. I'll make some notes about why as well:

I'm looking forward to... BAKING
As I have mentioned previously on here and as any of you who have met me know, I love baking. It is my favorite thing to do to relax and also a way I love to share with others. I haven't had an oven here, and tools and ingredients have been hard to come by. Once, out of desperation, I steamed a cake on the stove. I can't wait to get into a fully-stocked kitchen and to pump out some good old favorites! (Get hungry, Mom and Dad!)

I'm looking forward to... driving
Thanks to my amazingly generous friend Tamara, I have been able to drive some here. But I look forward to getting around on my own, not being sooo worried about using gas (maybe 4x more expensive here), and just the lovely roads we have in the States.

I'm looking forward to... seeing my clothes
I know, this is petty. But I do, I look forward to changing out my wardrobe, wearing more than plain long-sleeved shirts and less than attractive pants every day. The wardrobe I've had has worked great and suited its purpose... but it'll be nice to have a little diversity!

I'm looking forward to... seeing some babies
I need to meet a few good friends' new babies, and see a few who have probably doubled in size since Christmastime. I can't wait to hold them!

I'm looking forward to... going to TNBS
TNBS stands for Tuesday Night Bible Study... as in the best Bible study I've ever been a part of and the group of people I consider my closest church home. I love being intimate enough to be called out on stuff, challenged to go deeper in my walk with Christ, trusted, prayed for, encouraged, and in turn doing the same for others. I know it'll have changed but I can't wait anyway!

I'm looking forward to... vacuuming???
Yeah, this one is really random. Although I am very impressed by the Arab cleaning style, I can't keep up with all the sweeping and mopping. I constantly feel like my house is a mess. So yes, I look forward to vacuuming (or at least being able to)!

I'm looking forward to... Starbucks and Trader Joe's
This is so embarrassingly American, but these are just a few places I enjoy enough that just going there changes my mood!

I'm looking forward to... Costco with Mom
Related, but I have so many memories from my childhood shopping with my mom and thinking of meals to prepare and parties to plan. Maybe my favorite part was when she'd let me get a huge ice cream for $1. For whatever reason, I still look forward to these trips!

Most of all, I look forward to seeing friends and family and spending time with them. It is my hope that this time in the States will serve to refresh and allow me to refocus before taking the next steps in my journey! I hope also that I can be an encouragement.

Uma

Tamara and I walked through the checkpoint later than usual recently, at the same time as the evening call to prayer.

As we walked through the area between the gates, a man faced Mecca. Others ran to join him and they bowed, perfectly aligned and moving in sync, prostrating in prayer. I was struck by the beauty of the togetherness of it -- likely men who do not know each other joined in their common faith and brought together in a ritual demonstration of submission to God.

As I watched them, humble in posture and bold in declaration of their faith in the middle of the checkpoint, I was a little bit jealous. How often do I spontaneously see a brother or sister and pray with them, especially in public? In fact, how many brothers and sisters do I walk by without ever knowing we have the most important thing in common?

In my church tradition, we seem to equate ritual with perfunctory behavior -- assuming that people are forced into the effort and are going through meaningless motions.

We will never be saved through ritual behavior. But I don't think our assumption is true.

Coventry

Last week I had the opportunity to go to the UK for a conference we (at Musalaha) organized. The conference was to share about what God is doing in reconciliation here in the holy land, and elsewhere in the world. I hope someday we can do a similar conference in the States!

Here are a few pictures:

Me with my friend and coworker, Ronit, in the beautiful Coventry Cathedral, which we called  home for three days.

The crowd.

With Diana and Ronit, two Messianic Jewish Israelis who shared their testimonies at the conference. It was fun to have the English and Middle Eastern worlds I know collide!

Youth Desert Encounter

During the week before Easter, I had the opportunity to go on one of Musalaha's Youth Desert Encounters. Israeli Messianic Jews and Palestinian Christian youth go into the desert for several days for an experience they will likely never forget. Here are some pictures from the journey:

The men proudly joined forces to move a very heavy table.

The Israeli girls talked on one side of the camp...

As the Palestinian girls hung out at the table with Judy. It made it difficult that several of them didn't speak much English.

Our hike ended right near the Red Sea, and we had the opportunity to visit Eilat briefly. 

At the camp in the desert, a scenic location for our meetings.

I love camels.

An Israeli girl and one of the Palestinian guys. One of Musalaha's ways of encouraging relationship-building is to put the kids together in uncomfortable situations, so they learn to work together:-). This is fun AND uncomfortable!

I finally rode a camel. So much fun!

I admit, the scenery made me feel a little bit like I was in a movie.

Everyone hanging out in the desert.

By the end of the trip the kids had built some good friendships. Here is a Palestinian girl with two of the Israelis.

I loved seeing the kids get to know each other during the trip, and am hopeful that these experiences will influence their perspectives for years to come.

Shabat

I have had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate Shabat the last two Friday evenings with Israeli friends, which has been really fun. I mentioned in an earlier post that it is really neat to understand a little bit better what Jesus was doing at the Last Supper... just from observing a related tradition with bread and wine.

I really like this weekly tradition to have a special meal with family and friends and remember the provision of God, and to speak blessing to God and each other. Blessed art Thou, Lord our God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth... My understanding is very dependent on what is explained due to my absolute lack of Hebrew. What I do understand has been really cool.

So thank you, Ronit, for the invitations, and for some good times with new friends.

Women's Meeting

Friday I had the opportunity to attend a Musalaha women's event which was excellent.

When I got there, I was met by a very nice Messianic Jewish lady with a New York City accent. After finding out who I am and why I was there, she told me the strategy of the women's program. "We're just friends," she told me definitively. "That's why we come."

The time was much more like a women's meeting at a church than I expected. We spent the first half hour mingling, and it was fun to see the women finding good friends who they hadn't seen since the last event and catching up. The conversation was "How is your new grand-daughter," and "Have you lost weight?" instead of "What do you think about the current political situation." By the time the twenty-five of us sat down around a big horseshoe table I was writing the following in my journal:


Women, because of such common life journeys/concerns may have more natural bridges to reconciliation.

The rest of the meeting worked to confirm that idea.

One woman welcomed the group. "Please give a brief update on how you are and how we can pray for you." Whew, it was cool. Women of many generations opened up about where they are now. Joyous over a new grandchild, weeping over breaking relationships with children or husbands, testimony of God's grace during times of difficulty -- pain, sickness, lost life, new life, joy... seasons of life for every women.

Then we got into smaller groups and went before the Lord and prayed for each other. Three languages lifting to heaven the lives and concerns of our sisters.

After our time of prayer, we gathered again in one group for teaching. Louise taught on the Good Samaritan, expounding on cultural issues at play in the story. The main point that stood out to me was that in Jesus' teaching the answer to the question "who is my neighbor," was essentially another question: "Whose neighbor are you?" It is what we do for them that makes us a neighbor.

We finished with a nice lunch. I felt embraced by the group -- I guess they are accustomed to meeting new women and accepting outsiders. I wrote in my notes:

Praise You, Lord, for Your faithfulness through all life situations. Thank You for other women to walk through life with. Thank You for Your work in all nations, and for bringing us together in purpose and unity because of Jesus! Amen...

Phil Wickham - You're Beautiful.mp4

Good Morning,

I love this and just thought I'd share it. Have a wonderful day!

Bradford, Day 22

I had an absolutely wonderful day today. I went to Haworth today with the intention of spending some time alone with God and taking a nice walk into the moors near the Bronte house. I got to do that and God surprised me by having different plans for my time than I did, which was really good. In the evening I went to the youth group meeting for the church I've been attending here. I really enjoy the students:-)!

I'll have to post some pictures, but at the moment I'm too tired. Tomorrow if I can get on the internet. I'll be traveling to London tomorrow.