Packing... again

10:30am

Well, it's that time again. Packing. Ugg, I'm not thrilled about this! You can tell because I'm writing about it before doing it... a sure procrastination technique! The goal, though, is to do it today, which for me is pretty good. It's 5 days before I travel. If I can get it done today I'll be in good shape.

One of the benefits of an international life is that you learn that there are some things best purchased in certain locations. For example, it is best to buy tea, chocolate, cheese, and vegetables in England. For me, it is better to buy clothes, cake mix, electronics, and almost everything else in the States. Things are cheaper and I know how to work the sales better. This is not the kind of packing I mentioned in my Packing Light blog. This is the "get as much as you can to where it's useful" kind of packing. Totally different.

I'm going to be in the UK for about 4 months before returning for Jenni's wedding. Since Kagi and I are planning to be in the UK for at least another year and a half, I am working to get as much of what I already have over there. This summer we will take many of ourwedding gifts and household items which are now waiting in Maryland.

Now, I need to take things like sheets I bought with wedding money which we really need in England. At the moment, we're using a makeshift set of a fitted sheet from Ikea and and twin top sheet for our almost queen sized bed (it's an Ikea bed which is between sizes). I found two wonderful sets which I'm very excited about (wow, what does it mean when sheets excite you?). Kagi and I also received a sweet denim blanket from my mom for Christmas. I love it, but denim is heavy. I'm not sure how to fit it.

So, I'm going to get to work. I'll update you with progress throughout the day.

12:30

Laundry done, everything I want to take out of the closet and drawers. This is not a pretty sight but it's a necessary first step.

 3:30

After lunch I carefully folded and organized everything in their categories. When I pack I like to see everything before putting it into bags

8:00pm

After dinner I got back to work and finished packing it all up. The pile on the left is the pile of things I realized weren't going to fit. I'm disappointed about my amazing denim quilt, but I'm hoping someone can bring it with them on a visit to England before too long:-). As you can see, the suitcase is pretty ridiculously full. It is 49 pounds, 1 under the limit. The carry-on is pretty light and has a little room in it, just in case there are any problems with the weight of my checked bag at the airport.

 8:30

I admit that I really fought to get the big suitcase closed but here we have it! With room to spare in my carry-ons.

So here we go, I'm packed earlier than ever before. That's cool... but I have been realizing I have a big problem.

I don't know how to get ready for bed, because my toiletries are in that suitcase! Worse, I'm supposed to be somewhere in the morning, and my clothes, makeup, and etc are all packed! I really don't want to open that big bag. Seriously, it took me like 15 minutes of sitting on it, turning it upside down, and pulling with all of my strength to get it closed. There is a little fear that I won't be able to get it all back in there.

I am going to see what I can find around the house. Maybe I don't need to open it.

Nope, scratch that... my toothbrush is in there.

This is why this is probably why I never pack early, and why this is unlikely to ever become an advice blog. Haha!

Argo

Tonight, Pops and I watched Argo. I have been wanting to see it for a while, but didn't know much about the story prior to watching it. Here is the trailer in case you don't know the premise:

I can see why Argo won so many awards this year. It was so well done, with both humor and hardship which effectively made me feel like I was there, experiencing the trauma of being stuck in a country where you are considered the enemy.

It was real enough that I am actually still a little stressed!

I have had a few traumatic experiences at borders and it brought them to the front of my mind. I remember how every time I went out of Israel I was considered a security risk because I lived in Bethlehem. I was strip-searched a few times and regularly had my bags meticulously searched.

More recently, I was questioned and held in Glasgow for five hours before my request for a tourist visa was ultimately rejected. They were kind and courteous to me, but it was one of the most stressful situations I have ever been in. Leaving the country the airline staff considered me a "deportee," although that was not the case.  I couldn't decide if it was funny or embarrassing. I guess it was both.

In the two trips into the UK after that, I needed to wait while all of my documents were examined and am now all too aware that a sovereign state can accept or reject visitors at will. Thankfully those trips didn't involve too much questioning.

I know more about borders than I would like to. They are stressful for everyone, and even as a civilian sometimes you feel like you are supposed to be sneaky to get through. I have realized that honesty is the best policy and I no longer try to out-smart anyone. It's important to remember that there is not much need to get stressed when you're not hiding anything. Transparency is already a life policy of mine but it is helpful to remember its benefits of it when traveling. Thankfully I haven't had an Argo experience. Hopefully it'll stay that way!

I am so thankful that I have my visa sorted out before traveling this time.

Just six days until I leave for England:-). I took this pic in London about a year ago.

Yipeeeee!

Today I was totally and marvelously surprised!

I told friends this past weekend that I was fairly confident that it would be three weeks minimum before I go back to England. I finally have been resigning myself to the circumstances I'm in, beginning to make some plans in the States.

While I was waking up I glanced through my email on my iPhone. I saw an email from the visa agency and opened it before even thinking about its potential significance. Maybe my visa was finally assigned to an officer, which would be great.

When I read the words, "Your visa has been issued," I was completely flabbergasted. I wish I could replay my facial expressions. Actually, I probably looked something like this girl... except in my case the confusion turned into delight instead of horror:

Much of today was spent looking at airline tickets and buying some for next week. I'll make sure that they are still the best deal tomorrow -- plane ticket prices change on a day by day (or sometimes hour by hour) basis.

I am thrilled that I get to go back to be with my husband. I'm also thrilled that I'll have a visa which will give official status in the UK -- I will be able to leave and return without concern about borders, can get a supplemental job, and etc.

I am thankful that God has sustained us these crazy six months. And I am really happy that from here on out, Kagi and I should be able to be physically together even as we make decisions on where to live and apply for visas together. God willing...

Thank you all for your prayers and for the myriad of ways you have helped and encouraged us through a difficult time. I honestly didn't know when it would end, and today seems to be that day. Praise God.

So excited to get back to this man!

Unnatural Grace

Today I was thinking about grace. Grace sounds so nice. It brings images to mind like a graceful flower or a swan. Beautiful, peaceful, gentle, natural.

In the dictionary, I found some interesting definitions here. Grace is a deep word. I've heard it defined as unmerited favor. The word can be what a king does when he visits a peasant. It can mean approval, favor, mercy, or pardon. It can mean "sense of propriety or right," which seems to contradict some of the other definitions. Our Sunday school teacher in Spokane keeps saying that grace is scandelous. It doesn't seem right. It's unnatural.

In my observation, grace is hard. It's costly and active. It demands tremendous self-sacrifice to bestow unmerited favor. It's unfair.

This got me thinking about my experience with grace, especially as it relates to conflict. When my siblings and I were kids, we were great at getting underneath one another's skin. Allison and I are the closest in age, and had the most run-ins. She was always a lot cooler than me and although 13 months younger she was always socially a step ahead. I remember several instances when it went like this:

She did something that hurt my feelings.

I could have chosen, at this point, to respond with grace.

However, I responded naturally, and got angry. Acting on that anger, my fists started flying. I was always a lot bigger and was also a good fighter, so the physical odds were decidedly in my favor.

The circumstances, however, were not. The one who gets in trouble when a fight starts is almost always the big one who is punching, no matter what the little one did to deserve it.

I have a vague memory of my mom making me apologize while I was still seeing red. Imagine her holding me back so I couldn't continue the physical onslaught.

Mom: "Laura, apologize to your sister."

Laura (spitting the words): "I'm sorry."

Allison: "Mom, she didn't mean it!"

Mom: "Laura, you know how we do this in our family. Look her in the EYES, say you're sorry, and ask her to forgive you."

OH the pain of that moment! Trying to make myself apologize was swimming against the current of every emotion in me. Sure, I knew I shouldn't have been beating my sister up. But from my perspective, she totally deserved it! I had reacted in the only way I knew I could win. In my eyes, I was justified.

If I apologize, doesn't she get off scot-free for what she did to me? Worse, to ask for forgiveness was to ask her to be gracious to me. Maybe she would see that as weakness and use it against me. Still, I knew I wasn't going to get out of the situation until I did an unnatural thing: apologize.

Breathe. Stop looking at your feet. Just get it over with.

Laura (pushing out the words while trying to make eye contact with her smug opponent): "I'm sorry. (Long pause, breathe, breathe, breathe.) Will you forgive me?"

Mom: "Allison, tell her you forgive her."

Allison (reluctantly, and looking a little less smug): "I forgive you."

Although somewhat forced, she did grant me favor with those words.

In that feeling of swimming upstream against my emotions, I was learning some big lessons. I felt I had the right to make her pay. She hurt me, and how else could I convey how hurt I was other than to show her what hurt feels like? Still, I wasn't right to make her pay. In hindsight  here is no way I could have punished her fairly. You may think that my reaction was disproportionate to her crime. But it certainly wasn't to me!

The Bible has a lot of unnatural commands regarding dealing with conflict. This one comes to mind today:

Romans 12:17-21
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary:

          “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
          if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
          In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Allison is far from evil and neither is she my enemy. But what if I had in mind that I would fight with kindness, giving her grace when she offended me? It would have been a lot less painful for me, for starters. I should have done that unnatural thing then, and I should do it more often now.

Present

Although there are a few things I think I could write about today, I don't seem able to do any of them justice. So, I decided to share one of my favorite Bible verses which has come up in conversation a few times lately.  This verse is a beautiful reminder of some very deep truths.

International Cooking Disaster

Today I made chili for dinner. It is one of my favorites both to make and to eat, and Jesse and I enjoyed it.

Our dinner tonight.

When I make chili these days, however, I can't help but remember the biggest cooking catastrophe I have ever been responsible for. Actually, it was the biggest I have ever witnessed.

It was back in 2011 when I was visiting England from Palestine/Israel. Kagi and I were dating and I was staying with the Greens. I decided that it would be fun to make dinner for them and Kagi one night. The previous fall I had found cornmeal in England after a lot of searching, so chili and cornbread was my plan. I scoured allrecipies.com for the best chili recipe and found and American one that looked great.

I decided to make a lot of chili, and spent a whole day walking to various shops to gather the necessary ingredients. I went to both English and Asian (Indian or Pakistani) shops to make sure I had all of the meat, beans, veggies, and spices. I remember carrying heavy bags for a mile or so, ready to make the meal.

Back at the house, I set to work. Onion, meat, garlic, tomatoes, beans, and spices in a very big pot. It looked and smelled great.

With everything in, I tasted it to make sure the flavors were right. Immediately my eyes and nose started running. My mouth was on fire, and I realized what had happened. Chili powder in the States is a mild spice mix for making chili and things like it. Chili powder in the UK is made from chilies. The recipe called for 1/4 cup of chili powder, and I had followed it exactly.

At that point, I knew I probably should scrap the whole thing. I am known for my love of spicy food and even I couldn't eat that.

But after all of the work to get the ingredients I couldn't bear to throw it away. Maybe I could fix it...

So I started by straining the whole thing. I may have even rinsed it. It was still really spicy. Next, I added quite a few more cans of tomatoes. I added a lot of sugar. I added beans. I added everything I could think of.

Finally, it got to a point that I could kind of eat. By this time, the family was home. Kagi was there, and I didn't know what to do.

So I served the chili and cornbread.

It was so hot. Honestly, I could barely eat it, and I know I have a very high spice tolerance. The worst part of the whole thing is that I served it to the best sports I know. I don't know how, but they managed to eat it. I still can't believe I did that to them.

To me, the funniest part of this situation was Kagi, who had a really awful cold the day this happened. He loved the chili and ate a lot of it. He says he doesn't remember it being spicy at all! :-)

Happy Birthday, Pops!

Sunday was my dad's birthday. It was very fun to celebrate with him, and especially because I got to take him on a hike. Actually, he took me, but it was my idea:-).

Here are some pictures of the beautiful afternoon:

I thought this mossy tree was really cool.

When we reached the high ground there were many signs of deer and elk having been there. We started looking for "sheds," meaning antlers shed by deer after the winter. The whole time I was looking I just kept remembering how bad I always was at "Where's Waldo" and "I Spy" books. Definitely not my gifting... and antlers are designed to blend in with sticks! Turns out, though, that they are probably still on the deer's heads. We'll have to check again in the next few months.

Happy Birthday to the best dad a girl could wish for! I love you!

Look at that view!

On the way back down the mountain my sister called to wish Pops a happy birthday as well.  Interesting how much more snow there is on the shady side of the mountain, isn't it?!